I’ve been waiting for months for Immortal Rider. I kept on stalking Larissa Ione’s blog, me being such a big fan and all, watching her news, avoiding spoilers and so on. Finally I managed to get the book and the time to read it.
The question of the day would be: Am I happy with this book? Was it everything I was hoping for? Did I do the happy dance after finishing it?
*review ends here*
Nah, hold your horses people, of course I’m not done with f*cking up reviewing the book. Of course I have to ramble about it for at least 15 minutes. That’s the way I work.
What is my problem you ask? First of all the story sucks balls. Yes, balls. Listen to this:
We have a little horseperson, Limos. She’s a badass warrior who dresses like a Hawaian reject and always smells like coconut. I presume so far that even her sweat smells like coconut. I didn’t want to get into intimate details with this so let’s just stop with sweat. Ok so she meets the hot dude Arik. He’s a human of course. You will never have two badass warriors hooking up; things would be too easy then. No fun in things being too easy. So after they kiss the dude ends up in Hell and gets tortured for a month. He escapes and forgives the chick just because she’s hot. Bla bla bla flirting oral sex bla bla bla. Then we find out that (I’ll put this in bold because it’s priceless) she is wearing a chastity belt and only her husband can remove it. The funny thing is that this is not the best part of it. Hold on, I’m getting to it. So apart from the chastity belt
we have the following: she is betrothed to Satan (yes, freakin’ Satan) and he wants her fresh and untouched. You guessed it right. UNTOUCHED. AKA a virgin. So she needs someone to take away her maidenhood and save her from being raped by Satan.
Ok so after you’ve read this what’s your opinion on Immortal Rider? I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I mean this is a joke! I can’t process it… *facepalm*
Second (remember the first - up there somewhere), the characters suck. Limos is not my favorite horseman and Arik is just… meh. Nothing special about him, don’t like him don’t hate him. He just exists. Period.
So sucky story and meh characters = bad book and me punching a kid in the face. See what you made me do Mrs. Ione? See what you made me do??
So yeah, saying that I’m having issues with this book is an understatement.
There’s actually something I liked about Immortal Rider and if I’m not wrong I said this about Eternal Rider as well. I loved Wraith, Thanatos and (surprisingly) Regan. They’re the main reason for me not giving it two stars.
So the conclusion? I’m totally neutral about this. I won’t say I hate it because I still like Larissa Ione but it’s the last chance I’m giving her. One more mistake book like this and I’m blowing everything up!