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Author Topic: Why Teachers Drink  (Read 2107 times)

WebUser

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Why Teachers Drink
« on: May 16, 2013, 10:05 AM »
 
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons
 A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
 
Q. How is dew formed
 A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
 
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
 A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
 
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
 A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
 
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
 
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
 A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
 
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
 A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
 
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
 A. Premature death
 
Q. What is artificial insemination
 A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
 
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
 A. Keep it in the cow   
 
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
 A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal
cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..                                                       
 
Q. What is the fibula?
 A. A small lie
 
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
 A. Nearby
 
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
 A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium 
 
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
 A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
 
Q. What is a seizure?
 A. A Roman Emperor.
 
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. 

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
 A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.   
 
Q. What is a turbine?
 A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
 

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Offline Gus

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2013, 01:02 PM »
I don't know where you got them, but they are pretty funny ! My favorite would be to kkep the milk in the cow to prevent it from being sour....
We have books with those kind of things i France, I should try to put my hands on it, I'm sure there are things I could translate...  :laugh:

Thanks.
 

Offline Twist

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2013, 01:12 PM »
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Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
 A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery   

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. 

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
 A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.   


 HILARIOUS!!
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. -Steve Martin
 

Offline ninjumper

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2013, 09:19 PM »
After reading this, teacher do need something :P
 

Offline Seleena

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2013, 02:55 AM »
I think I just peed in my pants  O_o
But it's scary though, is this our future?
 

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2013, 04:00 AM »
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I think I just peed in my pants  O_o
But it's scary though, is this our future?

No, that is the future of McDonalds! :D :D :D :D :D
 

Offline GG drypen!

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2013, 07:00 PM »
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No, that is the future of McDonalds! :D :D :D :D :D

Naw, McDonalds is getting to high-brow for them. I'm thinking of Walmart.
 

Offline JenRider10

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2013, 04:51 PM »
There is a commercial here about a number you can call to find other numbers of homes or businesses.. The number is 11880.. The comercial sais "11880, the only number I remember"(in translation of course)..


This year my sister was giving her final exams at high school senior year.. One of the problems at the exams gave this number as te answer so my sister replied.. "The answer is 11880, and the only number I remeber"

I keep trying to imagine the person that will grade her paper :)
 

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