• December 15, 2017, 05:42 PM
• Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
Perusing The Shelves

Author Topic: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.  (Read 3590 times)

pps11

  • Guest
Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« on: January 13, 2012, 11:04 PM »
Hi, guys.
I am supposed to write an article on the topic " Humiliation as an source of encouragement".
I am a pretty much good writer when I have some ideas. But I m lacking them a little now. :-\
I want to use the typical teacher-student, parent-child relation as an example. But I am unable to figure out much else.

I need your help please. :)

I asked this in the gd section as via the discussion i can gain some rather helpful clues.

I would be reallly grateful for any and all help.
 

Advertisement


Offline jessadia

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2012, 11:09 PM »
I'll use this site as an example....say you posted the same book twice and I "yelled" at you in a post and totally humiliated you- would that "encourage" you not to do it again?


Or how about this: you're really tired and you fall asleep in class, you're teacher wakes you up and makes fun of you and embarasses you- you would probably be less likely to fall asleep in her class again right?
« Last Edit: January 13, 2012, 11:12 PM by jessadia »
 

Offline GG drypen!

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2012, 11:45 PM »
How about when you're a child and you steal a pack of gum & your Mom makes you take it back & say you're sorry in front of everybody. Wouldn't that encourage you not to steal?
 

Offline jessadia

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2012, 11:48 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
How about when you're a child and you steal a pack of gum & your Mom makes you take it back & say you're sorry in front of everybody. Wouldn't that encourage you not to steal?


Oh man! You hit that right on the nose! I'll be honest and admit this happened to me once *sheepish* I stole a candy bar (payday- yum!) and my mom caught me and made me take it back in, apologize and pay for it- and I didn't even get to keep it!  >:( It was so embarassing that I NEVER thought about stealing anything again! (Well, I guess that's a lie huh? I have downloaded a lot of books.... ;) )
 

Offline GG drypen!

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2012, 11:53 PM »
Yeah I think that one is pretty universal. Mine was gum. Still can't chew it.  :-[
 

Offline jessadia

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2012, 11:54 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Yeah I think that one is pretty universal. Mine was gum. Still can't chew it.  :-[

Is it bad that I can't wait until I catch my kids doing it so I can humiliate them? ;)
 

Offline GG drypen!

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2012, 12:01 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Is it bad that I can't wait until I catch my kids doing it so I can humiliate them? ;)

Nope. It's like the chicken pox. You want them to get them young & get it over with.
 

pps11

  • Guest
Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2012, 02:14 AM »
But, say for argument's sake, I get scolded severely by a teacher for whom I do not have much respect for, because of any reason like say I don't respect the ideals he lives by and forces others to.
Then, I wont be that affected and probably be even more tempted to break the rule as it also involves irritating him.
He totally humiliates me in class for small petty stuff that he cud probably have let gone. He picks on me constantly.
So, I have a kind of immunity to his insults.

In such a case, his embarrassing me has  encouraged me to further give him reasons for scolding me. I will be humiliated but wont mend my ways, even if what he points out is right.

But if the same thing were done by someone I love and respect, I wont take it lightly.
Isnt humiliation here,then, a kind of a negative catalyst?? :-\



And thanks a lot for taking time to reply so quickly. ;D
 

Offline jan101

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2012, 04:34 AM »
This is kind of an interesting concept.
In my workplace, humiliation/contempt is the norm for letting someone know they made a mistake.  It is actually effective, but the long term results are not.  People tend to get edgy and resentful, and sometimes hide mistakes in order to avoid that. 
So, over the years, I've decided that used sparingly, humiliation may not be a bad solution; but if it is the only method used, it's at least painful and eventually ineffective, if not destructive.  But it sure is easier than trying to approach the situation in a different manner.
I hope this doesn't relate to children's education.
 

pps11

  • Guest
Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2012, 06:38 AM »
No, it doesn't. Not at all. I m a pretty good writer and my English teacher had been asking me to submit an article for the school magazine.
In the bus, I just happened to think of this topic. The example given by me is simply a hypothetical scene.

Once again, thanks.
 

Offline Nouda

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2012, 12:56 PM »
As long as you build their confidence back up again (and not just solely humiliate them) it's a great method, according to studies done by psychologists. But that being said, I've never really reacted well to being humiliated despite all these years. I've never really liked it nor have I ever "improved" as a result of it. But I'm probably the sole exception to that theory.
Nouda - Book Reviewer @ Lanun Reviews: You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login | You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login | You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
 

Offline Asor

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2012, 01:47 PM »

Ok,

I'm late to give you a feed back about this but I just saw this & i'm like hitching all over...

1st I'm a teacher so keep that in mind.

Just wanted to say that, as in everything  related to education you have to consider:

1- age
2- background of the kid
3- situation
a) where
b) who does the humiliation
c) who witness the humiliation - background of the witness
d) How is he humiliated?
4- How humiliation is seen in the culture you are in?

Nothing works or don't work in education per se...

 :-*
Hands in the air *wave* *wave* *wave* :D
 

Offline RainbowPotato

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2012, 02:06 PM »
The only thing humiliation encourages is hatred
 

Offline Asor

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2012, 04:52 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
The only thing humiliation encourages is hatred

Don't agree with that,

if a kid is making fun of a mate in class because he got something wrong, humiliating him 90% of the time is the right ting to do, it make him realize that there is always somebody else that can pick on him as he was doing. It makes him realize, also, that what he did was wrong.

The ideia that all every kid needs, at every age, is an explanation is just wrong, it work wonders in movies only.
Kids work with emotions, they understand emotion, you just should never abuse their emotions but they need every one of them, good & bad, to be hable to build themselves & resist adversity in all the forms it can take in their lives.
Beside it is important, because humiliation is a "witnessed" experience mostly, that everyone experience it & build up some resistance, in order to have a personality that are not others-dependent.

In my experience that's how it works. Maybe it is diferent for you, but as I said we can't override cultural backgrounds.
Hands in the air *wave* *wave* *wave* :D
 

Offline RainbowPotato

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #14 on: July 07, 2012, 11:31 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Don't agree with that,

if a kid is making fun of a mate in class because he got something wrong, humiliating him 90% of the time is the right ting to do, it make him realize that there is always somebody else that can pick on him as he was doing. It makes him realize, also, that what he did was wrong.

I graduated high school a few years ago and I have never seen that work that just makes more people pick on them and laugh at them and that's when there are suicides and weapons at school.

I was raised that if someone is pickin' at you you pick back but I'm not very good at that so if someone was doing that to me I ignored them and that irritated them so they doubled their efforts. So mutual hatred all around. I'm quiet person (so lots of people thought I was crazy and probably do murderous things) with not really any friends so I have lots of experience with that. 
 

Offline Asor

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2012, 06:51 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
I graduated high school a few years ago and I have never seen that work that just makes more people pick on them and laugh at them and that's when there are suicides and weapons at school.

I was raised that if someone is pickin' at you you pick back but I'm not very good at that so if someone was doing that to me I ignored them and that irritated them so they doubled their efforts. So mutual hatred all around. I'm quiet person (so lots of people thought I was crazy and probably do murderous things) with not really any friends so I have lots of experience with that.

I understand that luv,

that's why I always say you can't take anything outside a specific culture/environment & make it work outside.
You shouldn't also mix humiliation & harassment. It's like mixing rain with a snow storm. Harassment & bullying that's what got the kids out of their mind.
Do you think that if a class mate make fun of you because you aswered something wrong, it's armfull if another one say to him "Hey genius how about when you answered x in the class Y?" (& talk over).
It may be humiliating the one that was picking on you but it just put him in the right place. Here it work just fine, if it's done in the hearly stage of the class relationship. When the class dynamics are on their way, you (that is I) have to be aware of the relatioship between the 3, if they are friendly or if there is already a patern... Don't know if you see what I'm talkig about?
Hands in the air *wave* *wave* *wave* :D
 

pps11

  • Guest
Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #16 on: July 10, 2012, 07:16 AM »
First of all, thanks a lot for your replies. I am now thinking about it on a level that i had not before.. actually, with my school re-opening i have been pretty busy, this being my last year made it even more so..

Asor, i m a student. so i think i get what u r saying..but what does ur point 4 signify? how does it change things if humiliation is seen differently in various cultures? also cud u tell me how the method of humiliation differs?? n 1 last thing.. y do u call it a "witnessed experience"?
as a teacher, u definitely wud noe these things..

Nouda, i happen to agree wid u to a large extent. i believe that the person humiliating u and many factors apart from that matter a lot in the improvement aspect.

RainbowPotato, i do understand to a degree. i cant lay a claim to a large group of frnds but i hve a selected few. i m sry that u went through what u did.. i m also not really good at picking back at the other person..however, i have found that ignoring the other person long enough shuts him up. u arent giving him any material to work on. moreover, u should not let whatever that moron told u to affect you. ignore them in the truest sense of the word..also if u appreciate the person who s troubling u, that shocks him and he does take a step back. personally i have not tried it but i have seen this work. this even deals with the mutual hate aspect. just 1 thing, get over those jerks. not worth ur time.


thank u people once again!
 

pps11

  • Guest
Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #17 on: July 10, 2012, 07:17 AM »
any1 interested in reading a couple of articles i have written(1 this year.. n the other 4 years ago)....
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

if u read, kindly comment. :)
i m working on a universal version of "be yourself". will post it as soon as i can.
 

Offline Asor

Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #18 on: July 10, 2012, 03:23 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

Asor, i m a student. so i think i get what u r saying..but what does ur point 4 signify? how does it change things if humiliation is seen differently in various cultures? also cud u tell me how the method of humiliation differs?? n 1 last thing.. y do u call it a "witnessed experience"?
as a teacher, u definitely wud noe these things..

thank u people once again!

I'm in a catholic southern European culture, & even inside my little country if you are from the north difffers from the south so I don't believe what is humiliating in my culture has the same humiliating effect on others.
A really simple example: if a peer insults me in a meeting & say "f... you", it's humiliating here,  a worst humiliation than to call me "son of a ho***" but not on the north of the country,  in the north if someone insults another calling "son of a ho***" it would be even worst than the first situation here.
Why? because a mother honor is very important there. The reactions are supposed to be really different also. A nothern kid would be supposed to remove the "stain" with is fists, a southern one with is wit, if he fail to do so he would be seen as weak wich is another humiliation.

Humiliation is a witnessed experience because if you despise the witness or there is none, there is really not an humiliation, just something annoying. A kid takes a beatting in front of his girlfriend... or in a brawl with some kids he knows, would you say the second is humiliating? Not so much, because he doesn't care about the good opinion of the other kids, but if one of the kids was his litte brother... in some place it can be a problem because he is suppose to be a role model on another places it doesn't matter.

Really humiliation does not depend on the person, the person can deserve punishment, & punishment can be without witness, humiliation is the result of loosing the good opinion of someone or the diminishing of our self image to others.

Really there is really many level of humiliation, & I believe what makes the "level" is purely cultural & dependant of the witness.
You could make an inquiry out of it, put 10 humiliating situations & ask people to put it from the most to the less humiliating, it would be fun to see if there is differences (as I believe) or not.

Don't know if I explained myself clearly enough?






Hands in the air *wave* *wave* *wave* :D
 

Offline hudasee

  • PTS Expert
  • *
  • Posts: 478
  • Thanked: 387 times
  • Rating : 1076
  • ^if you got detention, that's the way you do it!
Re: Humiliation as a source of encouragement.
« Reply #19 on: July 10, 2012, 07:31 PM »
I'm making this response taking the Title of this thread as an issue I want to focus on.

Let's see - Humiliation as a source of encouragement". Define humiliation. According to freedictionary.com, humiliation is 1. The act of humiliating; degradation.
2. The state of being humiliated or disgraced; shame.
3. A humiliating condition or circumstance.

Well as for me, it is the feeling of being put down, made to feel less than one feels oneself to be. Going back to the title - being a source of encouragement, I don't think it would work. Humiliation breeds resentment, fury, and destructive behavior most of the time. Even if people point it out that there are such different degree of humiliation that can be carry out, note that criticisms/act of humiliation is futile because it makes people defensive. It harms more because it hurts oneself pride and sense of importance. By humiliating, we don't make permanent changes but oftentimes produce resentment. We might say that we should understand that by criticizing, we make better people. However, let us remember, that humans are not only creatures of logic. Humans are not just bound by the rational but also by their emotions. So if you ever think to chastise someone or humiliate, put yourself in his/her shoes and try empathy first.
Wrath to Butch: That's you. You shall be called the Black Dagger warrior Dhestroyer....
Rhage: But you'll always be Butch to us, as well as hard-ass. Smart-ass. Royal pain in the ass... I think as long as there's an ASS in there, it'll be accurate.
Zhadist: How about bASStard?

^LOL :P
 

Tags: