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Perusing The Shelves

Author Topic: Eminem  (Read 1637 times)

Offline mayur47

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« on: September 10, 2009, 03:15 AM »
Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real slim shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like pam, like tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her A*s worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (ahh!)
It's the return of the... ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
And dr. dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (ha-ha!)
Feminist women love eminem {*vocal turntable:
Chigga chigga chigga*} slim shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though!
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what Inte*cou*se is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals.. well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*slurp*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*ewww!*} but if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: eminem (repeat 2x)

I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't the real slim shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

Will smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so F**K him and F**K you too!
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
But slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?
Why? so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to britney spears?
Shit, christina aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to carson daly and fred durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on mtv
Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to kim, hee-hee!
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem vd {*ahhh!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a F**K like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!


I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*err*} I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Vi**ra isn't working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
He could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
{*hach*} or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming I don't give a F**K!
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2x


Chorus: dido

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why i..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad..

1st chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background
2nd chorus: full volume with beat right after thunder noise

[eminem as 'stan']
Dear slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways; F**K it, what's been up? man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what i'ma call her?
I'ma name her bonnie
I read about your uncle ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is stan

{chorus: dido}

[eminem as 'stan']
Dear slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's f**ked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
Four hours and you just said, no.
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in denver - you said if I'd write you
You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, stan -- p.s.
We should be together too

{chorus: dido}

[eminem as 'stan']
Dear mister-i'm-too-good-to-call-or-write-my-fans,
This'll be the last package I ever send your A*s
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by phil collins, in the air of the night
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, then phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +all+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See slim; {*screaming*} shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*crash*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*loud splash*}

{chorus: dido}

Dear stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
C'mon - how f**ked up is you?
You got some issues stan, I think you need some counseling
To help your A*s from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but stan
Why are you so mad? try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Best Regards

Offline mayur47

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