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Author Topic: All Age Jokes  (Read 3906 times)

Offline mayur47

All Age Jokes
« on: November 20, 2008, 01:26 AM »
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a
copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Ramya; she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Jatin. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of
the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all You want. God is watching the apples!"

Best 10 Answering Machine Messages
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

« Last Edit: November 20, 2008, 01:29 AM by mayur47 »
Best Regards



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