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Author Topic: Sunday Morning Funnies  (Read 3166 times)


  • Guest
Sunday Morning Funnies
« on: November 06, 2011, 06:27 AM »
I can identify with every one of these!

        1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

        2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
        3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
        4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
        5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

        6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

        7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

        8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

        9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

       10. Bad decisions make good stories.

       11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

       12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

       13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

       14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

       15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

       16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

       17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

       18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

       19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay

       20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

       21. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

       22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

       23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

       24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

       25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

       26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

       27. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

       28. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Have something funny to share - toss it in!
The following users thanked this post: hiraina


Offline ereaderuser

Re: Sunday Morning Funnies
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2011, 02:14 PM »
That was totally awesome, and I can relate to most of them. Thanks for sharing!

Offline emjaybee25

Re: Sunday Morning Funnies
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2011, 02:58 PM »
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       21. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


Plus add a baby under your arm as well!  ;D ;D
It only takes a second to click the 'Thank You' button.

Offline jessadia

Re: Sunday Morning Funnies
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2011, 02:14 PM »
OMG! You made my day!! :D


  • Guest
Re: Sunday Morning Funnies
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2012, 04:29 AM »
PARAPROSDOKIAN - Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." Example - "Where there's a will, I want to be in it."

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put ’DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.


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