A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for social security.
After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he didn’t have it with him.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “Will I have to go home and come back?” he asks.
The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processes his social security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office.
She said, “You should have dropped your pants—you might have qualified for disability, too.”

OH! well then you can come out to meet your coffee pot

Was not allowed to go out until the party ended 

poor you, didn't you keep a Tupperware filled with coffee in your bag ?

I had a pouch..not a bag. My phone even barely fits.

You should install something like this
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I already have a coffee live wallpaper, laptop and phone at that 

so, you didn't try to lick the phone screen

What? No...do you do that? 

my phone is not water proof 

But you've tried it since you're suggesting it to me

No My GF DID

 

You taught her to do that?

see, learned from my licking

 

Poor girlfriend...you are totally corrupting her.

Why do you care, she loves it when and how i do it

I'm just concerned and it's just an opinion 

oh, don't concern yourself with the naughty girl I have as gf.

Alright  Good thing I don't know her then 

yes it is, otherwise you will be as naughty as she is

Why would I be?