ADULT ONLY DISCUSSION HERE SO TRY TO KEEP IT CLEAN! UM NO WAIT! DON'T LOOK IF YOU'RE EASILY OFFENDED

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Can someone help me out here? I've tried to figure it out but....What the F does this mean??!

"But wedding planning....was tretourous " The Ex-Factor.

I'm going to assume it's a misspelling of torturous.

Tretourous is actually, one of many, Middle English spellings of traitorous. But I don’t think the wedding planning was traitorous, either now or in the 11th century.

Edit: It could also be a misspelling of treacherous - but I also doubt the wedding planning is perfidious, disloyal or unreliable...

Edit: It could also be a misspelling of treacherous - but I also doubt the wedding planning is perfidious, disloyal or unreliable...

Ah, but it could be full of hidden or unpredictable dangers, which is another meaning of treacherous.

I was just wndering if anyone has read Fatty or Recovering Fatty by kitkat681.
I've never read any over weight Edward FF and was wondering if anyone had read these and if they thought they were any good.

Fatty
Edward Cullen can't find something that's very important to him...his wang. But that's what happens when you are 363 pounds. Bella Swan is his only chance to live a real life and find what's missing and so much more. No angst, a tiny bit of drama. Rated M
 
Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 33 - Words: 53,040 - Reviews: 4,464 - Favs: 1,584 - Follows: 2,001 - Updated: 09-09-12 - Published: 01-01-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7698232
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Recovering Fatty
A look into the journal of Bella Swan as she guides Edward through his weight loss journey. BPOV from 'Fatty'. Rated M for fantasy lemons and dirty girl thoughts.
 
Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,271 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 09-09-12 - Published: 03-10-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7911335
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I read them as WIP so they were good - she updated regualarly.  You kind of forget he's really heavy when you are reading it.   I don't know how they will be as a completed story.   I read this and another WIP where Edward was heavy at the same time which was also good, so I may be getting them mixed up a bit.   

The other one was Two of A Kind by Nilla79  -  You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Bella, 23, and Edward, 25, meet at a social event. As far as appearances go, they couldn't be more different, but they are instantly drawn to each other. Could they really be soul mates? And will the people around them accept their relationship?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 153,679 - Reviews: 2546 - Updated: 5-20-12 - Published: 10-13-11 - Bella & Edward - Complete

Edward is fat in this one as well. 

Forget hard scrutiny, it hardly stands up to any scrutiny! Just reading them I picked up on so many inconsistencies it was almost painful. Unless you just gloss the surface the whole thing is just a bunch of haphazard ideas that when put together contradict each other.

See, I work for the government.  When I used to tell my boss that the stuff they wanted us to do made no sense, she would respond "this is the government, it's not supposed to make sense!" 

So I say in a similar manner - this is fiction.  She can make true whatever she wants to make true.   

And then I wonder - why don't they fly?  I mean think about it.  Sparkly flying things would be so cool....  Yeah, the bats are getting to me LOL!!!!!
 

F***ING HELL!! I can't take any more misspellings in this story!  I am sure this author wasn't aiming at 11th century spellings considering she spelt "grovel" "gravel". Jesus wept!

LMAO!!!  That story just dropped waaaaayyyyyyy down to the bottom of my list!!!!

thanks for going through the torture um tretore? for us!!!

Yeah, you're right Illabeth, you have to totally suspend all thoughts of piecing the separate narratives together to make a whole. And my fear is that in a few years they'll build these books into the curriculum as required reading in secondary schools!! 

I actually hope not, as they are not well written.  They are however, a very good example of writing characters in a way to get people (women) to love them.   

Haha! The running is almost like flying, seeing as they can run across water. I wonder if they could do a Loony Toons and run on thin air?

And I know it's fiction! It's not so much the unbelivability of it all but the inconsistencies that drives me bananas. Most authors at least try to make their universes consistant, but SM is all over the shop! She can't make her mind up.

Yeah, I know.  "Let's make them unable to be killed, unlike Buffy's vampires"
"hmm, I like sparkly things - they can be like lead crystal and sparkle in the sun!"
"Crystal is kind of cold, I guess they should be cold.  Also because they are dead and all"
"But wait! If I throw in the twist that Bella gets pregnant on her honeymoon, then I've got to make the semen not venomous.... hmmm.....yeah, well, I'll just make something up here. "

See, my other thought was why aren't they hard all the time?  And why is it an erection doesn't rip their clothes?  These are the weird thoughts that occur to me....

I actually hope not, as they are not well written.  They are however, a very good example of writing characters in a way to get people (women) to love them.   

Ella, the UK's education system is going to hell in a row-boat, trust me it will happen....

Ella, the UK's education system is going to hell in a row-boat, trust me it will happen....

Sigh...California is just as bad now.... I wouldn't be surprised if whoever wrote the Ex Factor didn't go to school here. 

Sigh...California is just as bad now.... I wouldn't be surprised if whoever wrote the Ex Factor didn't go to school here.