Thread #5 - We are crazy talkers here! Join in the fun!

ADULT DISCUSSION HERE, SO TRY TO KEEP IT CLEAN! UM NO, WAIT! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, LOOK AWAY NOW! 

This is the new thread as the other was sooo long and had lots of pages. Continuation of our wonderful discussions on Twilight Fanfiction, Books, and Life in general.  But mostly Twilight fanfics... and life stuff that will get me a NOT ALLOWED statement. 

Okay, here is a place to discuss what you are reading, ask for recommendations and complain about the writing.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, so please play nice   

Because we know drypen's watching   

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Drama/Angst?  Not gonna happen at the moment... sorry
I need fluffy braincandy 

No worries hun, it'll still be here when you're ready for some drama. 

Honestly? In most fics I skim the lemons too... 

And I'm not a fan of the sex first- maybe love later stories anyway... I'm oldfashioned that way I think...

I do this thing where I read the first ever lemon interaction, to see if the author is any good at it (writing lemons, that is) then if they are I'll start the lemony passages throughout the story, read about 3 lines then skim til its over..That way I get the gist without having to read about every moan and grunt and sigh.....

   If the writing is good, i will read the first few lemons. But if there is too much lemons, i skim and look for the " " to see what was being said other than "edwaaaard", "harder", "right there", "unnnnnh". seriously, that last quote,  WTF! Can't she just write "they moaned" or "i moaned so loud because it felt so good" rather than writing out the actual moan?!? Of course, any lemon with "unnnh", "unnnggggghh" gets skipped. 

I think it is hilarious all he has to do is pinch and command her to come and there she is, coming all over the place. 

or he speaks and she is gushing down below.

One of my writers does a lot of lemons. I had to promise to read them. And I have had to tell her certain body parts will not slam into each other in the position they started in. LOL!  I think that was the strangest comment I've ever made. (Balls don't hit a$$ in the doggie position)  Is it bad that I know that? 

or he speaks and she is gushing down below.

One of my writers does a lot of lemons. I had to promise to read them. And I have had to tell her certain body parts will not slam into each other in the position they started in. LOL!  I think that was the strangest comment I've ever made. (Balls don't hit a$$ in the doggie position)  Is it bad that I know that? 

Since you are a married woman, I think it would be bad if you DIDN'T know that!

These last few comments about not liking or skimming lemons have been very interesting for me, as a fic writer. I personally am not a huge fan of BDSM fics. I know a submissive will say they have the power, but I can't help wondering how many women in real life must end up in dangerous positions or are existing in an almost brainwashed state, under the control of sadistic or manipulative men? and that spoils the genre for me. The closest I would come to writing it was my Confessions one shot and that was more like how I would feel if my partner asked me to roll play. :

I don't actually like writing lemons, they are the hardest (no pun intended) part of a story to write, especially, if like me you don't want them to sound samey samey as everyone elses. I think the first time I wrote one I had my arm over my eyes, it was that cringe inducing. Sad thing is fics without lemons don't tend to get reviewed and promoted anywhere near as much as the lemon filled variety. I'll write lemons if the story calls for it, but I can't do chapters and chapters of them, and I don't use much of the raw language because it squicks me out, 

I like lemons in moderation. If I'm reading something that's rated M, I am expecting at least one lemon. But sometimes the rating is bumped up for language and "adult content" that just barely seems inappropriate for teen readers. It's so interesting to me because it was always fan fiction that I turned to when I became frustrated with literary characters with too much sexual tension thinking "hmm what would happen if these two got it on," and I've read that's what happened with Twilight and fan fiction because so many people were annoyed with the fade to black deal. But at the end of the day, it's a young adult novel.

What really amazes me is how adult erotic novels are becoming more prevalent. While growing up, if I wanted to read something steamy I'd turn to one of the trashy romance harlequin bodice rippers that have their own section at bookstores and libraries, or bookmark all racy pages in whatever novels my mom had around. Now there are books on the New York Times best sellers list that have enough sexual content sprinkled into the plot to keep me intrigued. When 50 Shades started making its rounds to everyone and their mama, it seemed like the whole taboo aspect of reading "dirty novels" diminished somewhat. It's cool. But I'm still waiting to find something that combines an amazing plot with a lemon or two, but so far I haven't found anything published that I wouldn't consider a guilty pleasure read.

With all of that said; reading through lemons can be such a task and I usually just end up skimming. Sometimes I'm getting real into the plot, and the story just turns into one giant lemon and I'm wondering where the plot ran off to. Sex itself can be pretty awkward so I give major props to anyone that can write about it. Out of all the stories I've read, there's only been ONE that nailed it with the fumbling, getting into the groove, him slipping out a couple times and coming too quickly. Usually there's fireworks and out of this world orgasms. Yeah okay..

Since you are a married woman, I think it would be bad if you DIDN'T know that!

LOL! I was going to say something about facing the wrong way.....

The sad thing is, you don't even have to be married to know that. It's simple biology. What's on the bottom in one position doesn't magically go to the top cause you flip the girl (or guy if that's your thing) over.

Really? It was more this. My brain nudged me as I read it that something was wrong. So I had to picture it in my mind and it didn't work. 

With all of that said; reading through lemons can be such a task and I usually just end up skimming. Sometimes I'm getting real into the plot, and the story just turns into one giant lemon and I'm wondering where the plot ran off to. Sex itself can be pretty awkward so I give major props to anyone that can write about it. Out of all the stories I've read, there's only been ONE that nailed it with the fumbling, getting into the groove, him slipping out a couple times and coming too quickly. Usually there's fireworks and out of this world orgasms. Yeah okay..

I wrote one in my first fic and I didn't use any raw language because I thought Bella as a virgin wouldn't have access to the language, and I split it in two with a bit of comedy, when Edward realizes he has no condoms left in the huge box because the football team had blown them up and decorated Emmett's porch when he started dating Rosalie so he has to run across the hall to raid Alice's stash. 

I wrote one in my first fic and I didn't use any raw language because I thought Bella as a virgin wouldn't have access to the language, and I split it in two with a bit of comedy, when Edward realizes he has no condoms left in the huge box because the football team had blown them up and decorated Emmett's porch when he started dating Rosalie so he has to run across the hall to raid Alice's stash. 

Now that is my favourite type of lemon. 

I read lemons only if i'm in a very motivated mood.  Otherwise I skip them. With the stories I've read it's all pretty formulaic at this point.  Bella and Edward are both masters at sex.  There's very little awkwardness and not much variety.

Cougarofrob,

I put your story on my alerts. It'll be interesting to see where you go with it.

So I'm reading Resident Advisor by addicted to romione bedward   and there was a true to life sex scene. It was Bella's first time, he broke her barrier, and then got really embarrassed because he had to tell her he came too soon LOL! 

This story is obviously written by an English writer as she uses way too many British terms even though they are in Seattle. For example, knackered instead of beat, a pub instead of a restaurant, knickers instead of underwear or panties,  etc....  And if you go to the Hard Rock Cafe and want a sandwich? You need to wait for the waitress. They are not magically available from the bartender.

And? Other than the fact Edward is a womanizing jerk, it's good so far.

I just flounced that one actually after seeing someone searching for it in the other thread. Chapter 6 Author's Note: "I don't want to offend anyone who is going to read this chapter: Chinese - it's all I'm saying. I don't want to spoil it for you. It's all in good fun so don't be offended if you're Asian."

I'm not Asian, but there was absolutely nothing funny about the encounter she wrote and I'm still offended. There's absolutely no reason to include racism in a story as humor and then try to brush it off like it's no big deal.  Not glad to have read it, but thankful to know when to jump ship because that story is LONG

That Edward is a mess though, so you'll have to let us know how it turns out.