Thread #4 - We are crazy talkers here!

ADULT DISCUSSION HERE, SO TRY TO KEEP IT CLEAN! UM NO, WAIT! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, LOOK AWAY NOW! 

This is the new thread as the other was sooo long and had lots of pages. Continuation of our wonderful discussions on Twilight Fanfiction, Books, and Life in general.  But mostly Twilight fanfics... and life stuff that will get me a NOT ALLOWED statement. 

Okay, here is a place to discuss what you are reading, ask for recommendations and complain about the writing.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, so please play nice   

Because we know drypen's watching   

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Shoot, yeah sorry about that. I was referring to the bronze horseman that a couple of ladies were talking about. I read Stay as a wip...and flounced after they FINALLY got to that first lemon (on the stairs! lol). Was that fic fairly fluffy? It couldn't hold my interest to complete it but cant remember why at this point

You know me, I like fluff.  But I got bored with Stay.  It wasn't what I would call fluff, but, yeah.  Just wasn't that good to me when I was reading it.  And? I may have read it after Help Wanted and The Man Who Can't Be Moved.  So it didn't compare.....

I think we all thought you were talking about the Bronze Horseman, but I thought I should put the link to Stay anyway....  Stay didn't sound like something you would find interesting. 

Welcome 3Butterflies. The ladies here are just lovely - so friendly and helpful - and we leave the fandom cattiness at the door, as well as our inhibitions.

You'll find that some of the girls have no morals at all (not me, I am very pure  ) and will even ask totally improper questions such as which country/city you're from, your height, your shoe size and your bra size.

You must answer, or it will be end of humanity as we know it. 

I am confused by one thing you said...

I'm not sure if you are fans of Robert Pattinson like a lot of Twilight fic readers are, but he doesn't really do anything for me.

 

I just can't comprehend how any hot blooded woman can resist this!

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However, I totally agree with your list of authors:

Some of my favorite Twilight authors are TheFicChick, Teambella23 (I guess it's MaryElizabeth23 now), pattyrose, purelyamuse, Livie79, LaViePastiche, kharizzmatik, 107yearoldvirgin and Bratty-Vamp.   I will read anything these author write even if it's about water drying up in the desert, because somehow, someway these authors can make that boring scenario into a kick ass story.

Although I'd add Rochelle Allison to that list. I'm reading Starry Eyed Inside and just loving it, as I have with everything else she has written.

Even though it's nearly 5:15pm and my weekend officially started 2hours and 45 minutes ago, I'm stuck at work for another 2 1/2 hours because we have our annual school disco tonight. 

The kids have been so excited all week and were just as high as kites today, but they just don't understand why the teachers and I aren't more excited.

The parents are happy too because the get to drop the kids off and hit the pub for the night - kid free!

Anyway, it's not worth driving home just to turn around and drive back, so I'm rebuilding my school laptop which has been out of commission this week and was away getting "fixed" and while each step loads up, I thought I'd catch up here on my school iPad, only to find that pictures won't load.

So, in order to check out the pics that Avrildulac and Oililly posted - because you know I can't resist the Pretty - I'm also using my phone.

For a techtard, I'm feeling very proud of myself this afternoon!

So the Pretty does nothing for you? I remember this feeling! Even after reading Twilight for the first time and falling in love with Edward, Rob did nothing for me. I knew he existed, but I wasn't particularly fond of actors back then. I discussed his (seemingly!) greasy hair and lack of hygiene with my sister-in-law and his "hairy" appearance. Too much hair on a man!  And then she sent me this pic without further comment in an e-mail:




WHAM! I was a goner! And started to search the web frantically for all things and pics and blogs concerning Rob. For a few weeks I was totally lovestruck. With butterflies in my stomach and not being able to eat. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But I am so grateful for this experience, because I was at a very low point in my life and Twilight and Rob literally yanked me up.

And Edward Cullen, Dick For Hire and the pic below did the job to connect Edward and Rob forever in my mind.

I think it was the Details magazine shoot that really sealed the deal for me!

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Welcome 3Butterflies! I do hope you answer the improper questions of Astro. It's like a rite of passage thing here, our own way of welcoming the uninitiated to our craziness

Oilily Sepperl, you haven't replied too! we just know your from bavaria, Germany. 

But she did!

As to the questions you asked: I deliberately left these infos out. TMI, you know...I didn't know how you would accept me. So in the worst case I could disappear without leaving my bra size here. 
Height: 1,67 m (the ultimate average woman)
Shoe Size: Hmm, it's 37 or 38 here in German, so that would be a 5 or a 6 in Australia (says Auntie Google)
Bra Size: 75 B in Germany, to clarify: they are small...like a handful. Unfortunately not enough for Rob's hands though.    Most of the time I'd love to have big boobs, but they are what they are. Hubs likes them a lot, that compensates... 

But she did!

Ooops, my bad! It must have been during the time i was not visiting PTS much.

Sorry, oilily! [/spoiler][/spoiler]

Ooops, my bad! It must have been during the time i was not visiting PTS much.

Sorry, oilily!

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

[/spoiler][/spoiler]

SO?

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[/spoiler]

Alright, since we're on topic, again...

Why do fanfic vampires have no gag reflex?

Yeah, it makes for great (or not so great) lemons, but they also have to puke out food regularly, how do they do that with no gag reflex?


I'm feeling silly today... 

Google didn't come up with a explanation, but I found a great guide how to suppress the gag reflex.  I might practice on that. 

Who did say that vampires have no gag reflex? Was it S.M. herself?

Google didn't come up with a explanation, but I found a great guide how to suppress the gag reflex.  I might practice on that. 

Share the link please 

Hmmm, never thought about that... I usually gloss over reading about gagging, puking, being sick etc. not wanting to read the unglamorous side of things 

Have not really read much vamp fics but did they really have to puke food out? why? aren't they technically dead? So they can't possibly die from eating? Come to think of it...i guess they no longer piss and poop so they have to expel what they drink and eat? Otherwise, where will it go out? When they consume blood, what happens to it, where does it go? To give them strength/energy? They don't sweat, right? Aside from the sperm, which got Bella pregnant, what else do the male vampires excrete? What about the girl vampires, it just goes to lubricate them when they have s e x? Arrgghh, now you've given me food for thought...rather than working...damned PTS for being way more fun than work 

Edward said in Twilight that they can't digest food/anything other than blood and what he eats (that bit of pizza in the cafeteria) he'll have to bring up (what is the political correct verb for vomit?) later.

So, they have to be able to induce vomiting. But how if they have no gag reflex?

Otherwise, vampires don't sweat, pee etc. And up until Breaking Dawn it should have been logical that male vamps don't produce sperm. Only liquid in a vampire is venom. 

 

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I'll start training tonight. 

There are two lessons that I have tried to teach you all:

1. Use pineapple juice to improve the taste of funky spunk.

2. Suppress the gag reflex by biting the pad of your left thumb - hard - and then squeeze your thumb inside your fist.

This explains the squeezing part. The thumb biting was a little tip I learnt a while ago. The gag reflex doesn't disappear permanently, but it goes away long enough to...do what you need to do. 

There are two lessons that I have tried to teach you all:

2. Suppress the gag reflex by biting the pad of your left thumb - hard - and then squeeze your thumb inside your fist.

This explains the squeezing part. The thumb biting was a little tip I learnt a while ago. The gag reflex doesn't disappear permanently, but it goes away long enough to...do what you need to do. 

I'll have to try this, morning sickness/constant nausea make me want to avoid food completely, but maybe if I bite my thumb before I eat it will be better.

I know it is most likely unrelated, but it made me think of Shakespeare and "I bite my thumb at you"